have the strength to be vulnerable.

#192389502-0

Yay. I’m here again…..

so what does that mean???

STRESSED OUT !!!!!!!

2 months and a bit till major folio is due…… pretty much i have less than 2 months cos i gotta send it off for printing 2 weeks before!!

also, i got a job. YAY ME : ) But this also means, i can’t go visit J as much to shoot major folio. I’m pretty much working 4 days a week 6 hours shift. Tiring but… good to be working again. Good to have money actually..

But this week has been the worse week of my life.

• House got broken into – Room trashed. Brother’s laptop/phone got stolen
• I got sick – really really sick. I’m still sick now.
• This week…. has been a very chaotic week. Had my first Work in Progress on Wednesday. Along with Surrealism images + Portraits + Prints + Clone & Stamp Test due. (LOTS OF STUFF !!! )
• Cocoa’s been a bit naughty lately. Probably my fault because i didn’t walk her as much because due to #2 &…
• The weather’s been crap lately. Real cold/windy in the mornings, and when its nice and sunny, i’m inside the building :(
• Due to #3, my mates have been in a real… edgy mood but its all gooood.

anyway hopefully this week will be better because i.e

1. I got a job!!!!

2. Not as much stuff due this week : ) Just 2 assignment of portraits &… other mini things.

3. I just cleaned my house. So yay, happy. AND i found 10 bobby pins lol.

4. J surprised me this weekend : )

5. MY PHONE CAP RESTARTS

6. I HAVE A JOOOOBBBBB!!!!!!!!!

7. JOBBBB = MONEYMONEYMONEY :D

8. Goodnight. its nearly 1am hahaha : ) love you all

x esther

because i need some inspiration

I just took a quick glimpse on.. notes I wrote (not seen by anyone) a while ago. And it’s funny, because. I am not 100% sure that I wrote them. I think i did. I mean, I’m pretty sure I did but what i wrote sounded so poetic and poignant.

and i guess, it just baffles me sometimes to think that I thought, I felt that way.

Once again, I am vague with details but details is not important in this matter. It’s an overall general awe that… a entire year can change you, or rather you change entirely in one year.

I don’t know. I’m looking for inspiration, it’s a reverse role now.  I never really looked for inspiration in the past. It… always comes to me, it hits me when I see things that make me feel humane. But lately, everything has been such a routine, i need… someone/something to remind me of who i was.

i feel like i need the girl back in 2008. Just because i need some inspiration. I’m just amazed at how much I can forget and in the ability of photography to allow you to remember.

–

on a different note: Semester two is looking good. Less hours in classes, more time to shoot.

I have one more set of photos to go for a model then I’ll post images around the interwebs. Keep a look out.

P.S: seriously, someone throw me a bit of inspiration.. :(

i

am nostalgic. or at least, iwas for a bit. I spend the whole day, cleaning : ) Moved the computer into my room (hehehe) and redecorate my postcards, I really need to control my habit of taking every free postcard/brochure. But it’s pretty cool, i have a semi-large collection now.

Nostalgic because, who would have thought I’ll be here a few years ago. Little old me and brunei, that was always home. Always knew i had to leave someday but never would have thought here, having this life, doing photography, having a fantastic boyfriend. I don’t  have much to say anymore because my thoughts usually go into letter writing to J or, I just don’t worry as much, i don’t think too much about the whys, I’m content where I am.

Sometimes, I think the things i do is ridiculously stupid because it’s now, and things will always pass. The bad times, the times that makes you wanna give up everything you are, everything you do. It’s stupid because what’s the point of freaking out and being all upset about the now, when it be over. When you know that this would pass, and when it does, there’s always a brighter world out there, just waiting.

I have so much photography stuff to edit and all that but I’ve been all over the place lately. Been traveling way too much so I’m kinda glad i have these last 5 days to get everything done and hopefully ready for 2nd semester. Groups are all changed now, I’m in D with a few mates, which is good. Just a tad different.

I’m babysitting J’s younger sister tomorrow, for a favour for his parents. I’m kinda glad for the company, she’s really great to be around with. A tad nervous cos i haven’t really babysitted her on my own. I’ve always played with her and look after her when everyone is around but, never on my own. Hopefully it goes okay.
I’m kinda enjoying that my brother isn’t around. It’s a bit lonely but not too much because i have my dog here : ) and I have a clean house and a semi-clean room which makes me a bit more settled. I’m getting really sick though, I have a very very bad cold and cough, losing my voice too.
Anyway, i should sleep. Gnight x